Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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