Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
4 words: hood of his car
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
