that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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