Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
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