The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
