youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
