I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Do vagina's smell?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
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