True but thats because hes a fetus.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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