Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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