I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
