So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
handjob tips. give me some.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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