I puked a lego.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
ok first of all what the fuck
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