i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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