Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
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