Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
how do flat chested girls get laid?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
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