guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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