If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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