Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
