I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
