shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
