she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
