i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
