He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize
