That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
