What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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