problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
