I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
either way he was missing a nipple.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
