So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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