You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
