this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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