ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
