so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
