Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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