There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Randomize
