so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
