he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Randomize
