put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
