Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
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