ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
