im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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