It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
