It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
