hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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