I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
