was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
