My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
