But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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