one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
