and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
