I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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