I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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