I could have mohawked her pubes.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
