Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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