my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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