at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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