I love black thongs
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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